Dec 14, 2010

Feminine Nature

Sarata Monteoru, 2004

I never had a boyfriend when I was a kid. A real one, in the very straightforward meaning of the word. Never experienced friendship between boys. Only later, when I was a teenager I started to discover affinities in books, music with some of my colleagues (Liviu, are you around?).

Maybe because I was a good child. Like very conventional, always listening to my mother (have you notice I never mention my father in this kind of memories?), never doing crazy, foolish, childish, stupid things kind of child. In the primary school, when my colleagues were playing football with empty cans during breaks, I was staying with the girls. I never did sports, went to a single camp in 15 years.

On the other hand, I have always been good with girls. Not in the Casanova way, not even close, but in the I-know-what-you-are-feeling kind of way. I am very well organized, very sharp in observing details, careful with personal  appearance. I am empathic, intuitive and having a caring approach to people. 

Some of my advisers opinionated that I have a feminine nature. I am very sure of that too. I don't really know why.  Just know I am like that. Sometimes it helps me. Sometimes it doesn't. But I deal with that easily especially after I realized and accepted it.

But now I have a 2 y.o. son, a blond angel, living in a house full of women (2 sisters, one mother, one grandmother and the nanny). I am buying him tons of cars (which he likes) and balls. I can't stop him of being interested in what her sisters are doing with the lipsticks and makeups. I am often coming home after he goes to bed and have very few moments with him during a working week.

So I will have to work hard and be there for him as a masculine presence and model. But is not easy. I started by fighting the women around still dressing him with purple "bodies" because he still can use some of the sisters casual clothes. Will be a long distance run. Am I too paranoid about it?